Happiness, Gratitude, and Success — How You Can Gain the Advantage.

By Julia Michelle

There’s no denying it — this last year has been tough. The way things are going, it’s easy to feel like success and happiness are slipping further and further out of your reach.

We’ve all been taught that happiness comes after success. Get a better job, make a bigger salary, get a higher degree…then you’ll be happy.

Success leads to happiness…right? Not so fast.

There are two main problems with this formula of success first, happiness second.

1. Success is a moving target. No sooner do you accomplish one goal but you find yourself reaching for the next. If happiness is only attainable once you’re successful, this means happiness gets pushed over the achievable horizon.
2. There’s growing evidence to show this formula is backward. Success follows happiness, not the other way around. People who are happier are more creative, more productive, and more physically healthy. This is a winning combination for success!

So. Let’s move on from the idea that happiness has to be delayed until after you’ve achieved success. Investing in your happiness now isn’t being frivolous. It’s not a waste of your time and resources. Quite the opposite. Consistently making mindful choices to increase your happiness can actually lead you to the success you dream of.

Happiness Trains our Brains for Success

Scientists used to think that happiness, as an emotion, didn’t serve much of a purpose. They knew that fear had a function in triggering the fight/flight/freeze response in an archaic attempt to keep us safe. But happiness? It just seemed to be there for no reason. Now, though, we’re learning that happiness is what allows our brains to move out of the caveman mind-space of survival. It opens up our minds. When you’re happy, you notice more detail, see more opportunities, and can be more creative. Happy people even fight off colds faster.

The next question, of course, is how can you increase your level of happiness? Everyone’s happiness fluctuates over time, but we all have a sort of happiness baseline that we move up and down from.

Contrary to popular belief, your happiness baseline isn’t determined by your genetics or your personality type. This is great news — especially for those of us with more pessimistic tendencies. It means you’re not doomed to stay at your current happiness level.

You can actively retrain your brain and increase your happiness! Yes, you’ll still have ups and downs, but they’ll be ups and downs from a higher baseline.

Gratitude Boosts Happiness

One of the main ways we can train our brain to invite more happiness into our lives is by practicing gratitude. More gratitude is associated with better general wellbeing, increased joy, a sense of purpose, and increased meaning. Sounds good, right? It is!

Initial studies on gratitude and happiness were cross-sectional and only able to show that the two experiences were related. They couldn’t tell which caused the other. But, more experimental designs are now being used in positive psychology research, and there’s significant evidence that gratitude does cause happiness. In one prospective study, gratitude predicted increased levels of happiness 6 months later. But the opposite wasn’t true — increased happiness didn’t lead to increased gratitude.

If you’ve ever been told that to feel more gratitude you need to journal about five (or ten, or fifteen) blessings every day, you’re not alone…but did you know that’s not the only way?

If you’re anything like me, when you heard about gratitude lists you might’ve picked out a journal, scrounged up a pen, and diligently written out your blessings for…a week? If journaling didn’t turn out to be your jam, I have good news for you. You can still practice gratitude and reap the benefits in your life without ever writing anything down!

The principle of asking people to journal every day about things they’re grateful for is sound. It’s good advice. The issue is, without understanding the ‘why’ of something you’re doing, it’s hard to stick with it and adapt it to fit your life while still getting the results you want.

Why Gratitude Lists Count

Let’s dive into counting your blessings and why it’s something that helps you be happy!

The mechanics of what connects gratitude to happiness isn’t an exact science. But from what we know, reflecting on things you’re grateful for can re-shape your thinking processes. A routine of gratitude helps you notice and appreciate the good in your life. It also helps your brain assign more value to those good things.

Of course, you’re more likely to get a bump in happiness and stick with your new routine if it’s something you actually enjoy doing. So adjust this practice to suit your lifestyle! Drop the required number to three, two, or even listing one thing a day that you’re grateful for. If you can’t remember a specific instance from that day, try thinking of one person who’s alive who you’re grateful for.

And here’s the key: you don’t have to write it down for it to retrain your brain.

You can think about it to yourself, say it out loud, tell it to someone else, but you don’t need to journal it. It’s the thinking process, not the writing process that makes the difference.

What makes the most difference is consistently practicing daily gratitude over a period of time. Sure, it might sound efficient to list 100 things you’re grateful for all in one day instead of listing 3 blessings every day for 3 months, but it won’t have the same effect. You’ll get a much more lasting effect by doing a little bit, consistently every day. That’s because it’s not about how many gratitudes you can come up with, but about building a habit and retraining your thinking process over time. It wouldn’t do you much good to run 10 miles one day and not get off your couch for the rest of the month, and it’s the same thing with your brain. Small, consistent actions are what lead to real change.

Another way to increase your sense of happiness and wellbeing is to directly express gratitude to someone you’re grateful for. This can be in whatever form you’d like. Write them a letter, give them a call, send them a text. It doesn’t have to be a daily thing but again, consistency is key! Try starting with once a week or once a month, and see how you feel.

The best part is, this one comes with a bonus. Not only does directly expressing gratitude increase your own happiness, but it’ll also brighten the day of the person you express gratitude to!

Plant Gratitude — Harvest Happiness and Success

Understandably, some people naturally practice more gratitude in their lives, and implementing these ideas is easier for them. They’re definitely more difficult for people who are not naturally grateful.

But here’s the really important part: if you find these exercises difficult, you’ve hit on something that’s exactly what you need.

We know this for physical exercise, and it’s the same for emotional and mental exercises. Those who need it the most are those who are out of shape with the activity. The good news is, the more out of shape you are with expressing gratitude, and the more challenging you find these exercises, the more benefit you’ll reap from consistently doing them.

Before you close this tab, try spending one minute reflecting on what you’re grateful for today. Then set an alarm on your phone to do the same thing tomorrow…and the next day. And the next.

Don’t give up if you don’t see a difference right away. Lasting, holistic happiness isn’t something you can just stumble into. Like a garden, it’s something you need to cultivate, but boy does the harvest pay off! Not only will you feel happier and experience a greater sense of wellbeing, but a boost in happiness can help you be more open to creativity, notice more opportunities, and be more productive.

PS. If you want to learn more about simple ways to boost your happiness and gain its advantages in your life, check out the fascinating book The Happiness Advantage.

Resources:

1. Achor, S. (2010). The happiness advantage: The seven principles of positive psychology that fuel success and performance at work. New York: Crown Business.
2. Olson, J., & Mann, J. D. (2013). The slight edge.
3. Watkins, P. C., Emmons, R. A., & McCullough, M. E. (2004). Gratitude and subjective well-being.